Thursday, December 2, 2010

I'm Thankful

Happy December!

Another month has gone by and I only posted once.  I'm working on it, I'm working on it.  November proved to be a little more relaxing than I thought.  I really did not do much on the weekends.  I've finally come out of this depression (I hope) that has been plaguing me almost all semester.  I'm still down on myself for not losing all the weight I've wanted to-- but when I don't put in the effort I can't really be all too surprised.  Sigh, tomorrow is another day.  Depression is such a vicious cycle.  I've struggled with it for years-- in and out of therapy, on and off drugs.  I feel like crap so I don't want to do anything, especially nothing that will require effort like exercising or making myself a proper meal.  Even though I know once I do that 15, 20, 30, or even 60 minutes on the elliptical I will feel like Super Man.  It's the inability to even bring the horse to water.  So last week I actually went to the fitness center at work and worked it... not for very long because it was the end of the day and I didn't have any headphones (talk about boring).  However, I did feel better.  I always feel thinner after working out... is that weird?  I also went there again on Monday and did about 25 minutes on the elliptical-- yay for headphones!  Then I had to hustle to my WW meeting where of course I gained because of Thanksgiving and all those leftovers.

Speaking of Thanksgiving.  It's not my favorite holiday-- probably one of my least favorites... always has been I think because it's centered around turkey which I find dry and not very tasty.  Anywho, we decided to stay home this year (we being my father, brother and myself).  My brother didn't want to go anywhere because he works retail so the next day would be hell for him; my dad wanted us all to be together so home we stayed.  Now, there has always been an issue with clutter in my household, however, my mother to no end kept it at bay as best as she could.  Since she died things just went crazy and a volcano sort of erupted.  When my brother moved home 3 years ago after an inevitable breakdown he resumed my mother's position in that he strove to clean everything all the time and would be an absolute nut and in a panic if anything was out of place-- and had no qualms letting us know.  It was insane.  After a few months we broke him.  He no longer really cares (outwardly anyway).  It took me some time to really get a grip on myself and realize that we couldn't live in the mess.  Now, I must say we are not bad as many of the homes you see on Clean House, there are perfectly good floors that can be walked on without hopping or tripping; the problem is that any surface gets stuff thrown on it.  Don't get me wrong-- I'm as guilty as my father is in this.  So I got it together and decided we needed a change.  Well, it turns out I was the only one who felt this way.  When it's not technically your house to decide major renovations, it makes it hard to get anything to happen.  Also, when you get no support-- it sucks.  Oh, I see why my mother was always frustrated with us... and then my brother.  Oops, sorry.  Occasionally I've been able to kick my dad's butt in gear, but it only ever lasts a week or two and then the house goes back to bananas. 
So I went through this whole long thing to say this: if Thanksgiving was going to happen at our house, and people other than the three residents were going to come, shit was gonna look presentable.  After cleaning, cussing, screaming, crying, and sheer guilting-- my dad was on board with a little less animosity.  Within a few days our 3 person turkey day went to a multiple person feast.  I was not going to be embarrassed and making excuses to our guests, I refused.  So we got to work and the place looked damn nice! Actually, it still looks pretty good a week later-- shocking!  After all was said and done, I made a damn good dinner (my first Thanksgiving meal) and entertained in my pretty albeit rough around the edges home.  Our guests (and I use that term loosely... more like family) had a great time and I'm so thankful for all who came to share our originally planned depressing meal with us.  We ate tur-duc-hen... yes the chicken inside of duck inside of turkey thing and it was AMAZABALLS.  So the official count was 9: my dad, brother, myself, friend Jessica and her mom, my dad's two siblings, and two of my brother's friends.  It was so fun and yummy I'd think about doing it again next year. 

By the way, I need to mention this playlist I'm currently grooving to.  It's Dirty Dancing meets Mamma Mia! meets Top 40 and it's nothing short of a good time. 

Friday, November 12, 2010

Monthly Update! Hahahaha

Originally written on 10/13... oops...
Yes I know, it's been way too long, but I've been busy.  School is kicking my @$$!!  Strat (no longer strappy, that's just weird) requires most of my brain power.  Meanwhile, I've been slacking on FAC because not much is required of me.  I'm pretty sure I blew the test I had in it last week which means I need to bust ass on the rest of them... which is only 3.  I can't let this be a repeat of undergrad where I'm awesome at all the classes I take except for the ones in my major.  PS I'm probably the worst religion major ever, but it still fascinates me.  I'm getting somewhat better at managing my time, but not really.

Ok, so now I write, the date is 11/12... almost a month since I last attempted to post.  October was busy!  I missed Halloween because I had bronchitis, no biggie, I didn't pull my "French" costume completely together so I guess I sort of lucked out in that regard.   That test I was talking about I did "bomb" so to speak... a 71% in my book is bombing... it's probably the worst grade I've received so far in grad school.  I know I started this blog to try and help myself and others with the stresses of grad school and working and being social, but I obviously fail in the self help category haha.  So here goes again.  This past week marked the end of crazy assignments being due every week in Strat.  Although, I still have one assignment I need to tackle and turn in and one I need to send to him because it somehow got sucked in a vortex that is my instructor's house, car, bag... life?  I actually had another test in my FAC class this past week... I studied a lot more for that one than I did for the first one-- so I'm hoping for more positive results.  Last weekend was like the twilight zone for me.  I actually had a perfect balance of school and social life... now if only I could have thrown some laundry in there would it have been truly perfect lol. 

This weekend is scheduled to be INTENSE.  Jessica's birthday is today so we're going out tonight and tomorrow night to celebrate... I know what you're thinking... two days?  But it's usually a week long celebration so I figure we've gotten off easy this year ;) (love you whoadie).   Tomorrow during the day will be spent running around DC for a scavenger hunt that I put together for a friend of the family who is like my little brother.  He turns 18 on the 16th and this is what he wanted to do for his bday.  Sunday, I'm thinking rest.  Lots of it.  Oh, and probably homework.  I have this group project thing that we've yet to solidify.  It's only worth 100 points... no biggie...

I skipped my WW meeting this week because I've been working at home and in the office due to renovations.  Oh, and because I've fallen off the horse and my previous three weigh-ins have been gains... not a lot, but still.  It's discouraging.  I also have not been working out like I should be-- but I'm making my way out of a month and a half long depression, so hopefully I'll be able to start anew (once again).  I know working out makes you feel better, but if you're not feeling well it's hard to get there.  I have a couple of goals though-- I don't want to be the Michelin Man at yet another graduation, and I'm going to Kosovo next year to visit a friend of mine and if they are all anything like her... then it is a stick thin nation.  I don't need to stick out more than I already will for being American.  Plus, I haven't seen her in years so it'd be nice to look different and not just with a haircut or something.

Oh also, the guy I liked for a very long time, has steadily proven to me over the past few months that he is batshit crazy, so I guess I'm glad I sort of dodged that bullet. 

Friday, October 1, 2010

Hangovers, Homework, and Homecoming

Happy October to all you Libras and Scorpios out there!

So about that homework I did in an hour last Wednesday...

I guess first I should explained how I met friends at the usual spot last Tuesday night and proceeded to get completely shitcanned.  Crown and Coke is not my friend, at least not 3 or 4 of them.  I watched the bartender pour the final one and I remember saying "Oh Jesus" because he damn near filled my glass with Crown before adding a little Coke for color.  After I was verbally ridiculous, I ended up ripping some things down off the wall and whatever was strung around the bar.  So we left there and instead of going home we all go to ANOTHER bar.  As I'm walking in I'm not feeling right, so I grab the van that is sitting in front of the place and hurl my guts out all over the street.  Then, gracefully, I walk into the bar, drink a beer, say more ridiculous things about having a threesome or something. We close that bar down and I am whisked away to my house.  Shannon accompanies me inside-- gets me a cup of water, and an empty cup-- and leaves.  I proceed up to my room, lay down and immediately regret any conscious decision I made that night involving alcohol because now my entire world was spinning and I could feel whatever was left after the episode on the street was about to make an appearance for the first time.  I grab the empty cup (a sort of trademark of mine) and wretch demons into it.  Then I run to the bathroom and wrap my arms around the toilet-- it is the greatest embrace ever.  All I really want to do is go to sleep in my bed so I get up and I manage to fall asleep despite the less aggressive spins I have. 

When I finally wake up Wednesday morning, I first panic because I am supposed to pick my friend up and take her to work, then I realize how insanely hungover I am because my survival instincts have now kicked in and tell me to get the F back in bed and sleep off the drunk.  But I can't, I must take Jessica to work.  And since I'll be out, I might as well go to work too... especially since I have homework due for my class that night.  Alright, cool.  So I pick Jessica up... traffic sucks ass as usual.  Sucks even more getting to my job.  I am about a minute-minute and a half away from parking and I can't hold it in anymore... I throw up all over myself.  I finally park, open the door and throw up some more.  Luckily, I was wearing a hoodie so I peeled that off, balled it up and went into work.  After attempting to eat greasy breakfast I threw up again, decide it's for the birds, go home and sleep for a good few hours.  When I woke up I called Shan and had her bring me McD's.  I still was trying to do my homework for the evening.  After Shan left, I was busy working on my stuff when she called and said her car broke down at the bottom of the hill.  So I go and attempt to jump it for 20 minutes.  I have to leave her, but her dad was on the way so no biggie.  At this point I have one hour to get everything done.  Somehow by the grace of God I do it and get to class with time to spare. 

Now what did I get on this homework?  PERFECT FREAKIN SCORES.  What did I get on the previous one and the one after... NOT PERFECT FREAKIN SCORES.  Somebody explain this to me?  Do I need to have the worst hangover of my life every week?  I seriously hope not, that why I'm going to chock it up to birthday week magic. 

This weekend is CUA's homecoming.  Of course this year I plan to not go and all these ladies are coming in for it.  So I will go out with them tonight, but I really must be on my best behavior the rest of this weekend because I have a big test on Monday... F!  Maybe I should take off.  Eh, cross that bridge when I get to it.  School is going to once again kick my ass this semester.  I need to learn how to study effectively.  Though, if I haven't learned by now, I think it's kind of a lost cause.  Hahaha.  Are you all doing anything fun this weekend?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Sweet September

Last Friday I turned 25!  I had a good time all last week, really.  Tuesday night I met up at the Corner Pub with the usual suspects and somehow got hammered.  I had the worst hangover on Wednesday that I have had in at least a couple of years.  Sorry I have to make this quick otherwise I would go into more detail.

Thursday I took off of work, so did Jessica, and we made our way downtown to chase food truck, in particular the Lobster Truck.  I feel like I grew up in Maine a little bit, I spent entire summers in South Portland when I was a kid... that to me is when kids really grow up, over summers.  Anyway, I digress, we got a lobster roll, a shrimp roll, and a whoopi pie... AMAZABALLS!  My fav was the lobster, hers was the shrimp-- which really worked out quite well.  We noticed (via Twitter) there was another food truck in our vicinity so we went to find it, but found a different one instead.  It was something to do with sauces?  I ended up getting some Indian type dish that was in a pita or naan... yeah I'm really bad at this.  Bottom line?  It was delicious and I was so stuffed I could only eat a few bites.  Jessica got the fish taco (hehe) and it was spicy as hell, but still pretty good.  Like me, she could not even think about finishing that joker... so we had good dinners!

Friday was my normal day off from work... how perfect for it to fall on my birthday?  What did I do?  Well I was taken out for breakfast in the morning.  Then I just went home and watched True Blood season 1 and did laundry and cleaned up a little before my girls came over later that night.  It was a great day.  Then some of my girls came and brought me alcohol and we ate pizza rolls and party pizza!  We also watched Notting Hill (my fav movie) and part of Ever After (I think I maybe saw it once 10+ years ago).

Saturday was my big mamma jamma party where most all of my friends came (a good number did not show up... punks) but it was fun.  I got a keg and had good food and everyone was happy and drunk which is all I can ask for.

So Sunday, after getting in around 7 in the morning, I just kind of chilled out.

Quarter of a century... how does it feel?  Honestly, I'm counting my blessings that I'm still in my twenties and alive... that's kind of a big deal.  Fat Camp?  Back to basic training for me... was too hungover to go to the weigh-in last week... oops.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Go Team!

This past weekend was an extremely sports-filled weekend.  Saturday the Orioles were taking on the Yankees at Camden Yards.  I hate the Yankees with a fiery burning passion so I was definitely game to go.  My friend Mary who is a huge Yankees fan came too, along with Catherine, Danielle, and Shannon (O's fans by default, not huge baseball fans).  I was hopeful because even though my O's are doing horribly this season, and the Yankees are number 1 in the AL East-- we beat them 2 out of 3 in NY a week or two ago.  Well, we got the pants beat off of us.  11-3... very upsetting.  The most upsetting part was that in some of the plays it looked as if the O's weren't trying at all, but who am I?  Not a professional baseball player, so who knows. 

Sunday, Shannon had an extra ticket to the Redskins/Texans game... HAIL!  That game was super exciting!  All the way until the fourth quarter we were happy and screaming and all that fun stuff.  Then it was tied and the game ended/went into OT.  Then we got robbed... multiple times.  Then we lost.  WTF?!?  On a lighter note, my Orioles beat the Yankees that day haha.  Trust, I was conflicted with feelings haha. 
Here are some pics from the game:

Danny and Melissa
FedEx Field and the Redskins marching band.
Me, Shan, Sean.

Friday, September 17, 2010

I Blame 2005 and Glioblastoma Multiforme

Started this on 9/15
As I'm attempting to type up an educated response to this BlackBoard question/posting thing, I can't help but curse my mother's brain for the strain mine goes through whenever trying to relay information intelligently on paper. 

In August 2005, just before my junior year at CUA started, my mother was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme stage 4... translation... brain cancer that would give her 9 months to a year of life.  She died after 8 months and I've never been the same since.  I pressed on with undergrad getting long term extensions in all of my spring semester classes that year.  I even managed to graduate on time senior year. 

Continuing on...
Since I was pretty much in just-get-it-done-so-i-can-get-out-of-here-in-2007 mode, my writing and analytical skills went down the tubes.  I used to be an excellent writer.  Writing would save my ass all through school.  Generally, I would bomb tests, but ace papers no contest.  Now I can't help but feel like I've lost it completely.  I am definitely able to bang out papers faster (to some degree) than I did in high school and the first part of undergrad, but the quality just does not seem to be there.  The flip side of this is that I have a 3.95... in grad school... and I'm bitching that my writing sucks.  I must be doing something right, but there's that gut feeling like I could be doing better (not necessarily grade-wise, but perhaps pride-wise).

As much as I love school sometimes I can't help but think that I'm not smart enough to be in it. 

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Weekend and Mediocrity

I had big plans for myself this weekend to get all of my schoolwork done on Saturday so I could relax the rest of the weekend on so many fronts.  Friday was my day off so I figured the majority of my goofing around/relaxing would happen then.  For the most part this held true- I got a massage from Heather, ate lunch with her and Kris, then went to a couple bars that night, oh and I took a nap (so awesome).  Saturday was reserved for STRAPI reading/discussion boards/case study/whatever the hell else it is I have to do for that class.  I slept in which was fine, but then I ended up going grocery shopping with my dad for pretty much the rest of the afternoon.  I read my chapter for about an hour before going and eating crabs (which were/are delicious and I want more now).  I tried to tell myself it was okay if I didn't get everything done because Sunday was still around the corner and all I was planning on doing was laundry that NEEDED to be tackled... like whoa-- after going and cheering on Lauren as she crossed the finish line of her 27th half marathon.  However, the cousins called after chapter reading, before crabs and requested mine and my father's presence at their house the following afternoon/evening for dinner and cake for the 19 yr. old's birthday.  Neither my father, nor myself had the balls to turn them down despite all the crap we had to do to get ready for the coming week (my laundry pile is going to eat me in my sleep).  We always have a good time with them so it's not a bad thing, I'm just being whiny about it.  Sunday rolled around, I woke up and wandered around Bethesda looking for the finish line of the Parks half because I was trying to look at the interactive course map on my phone which was not really working out so well.  Whatever, I found it and waited... and waited... and waited because Lauren had told me she'd prob finish like 2:10 or something well, it was getting to be 2:30 so i called her and it rang... and rang... and rang and then it picks up and I hear ::heavy breathing:: "still running!" and i'm like... oh shit... kbye!  Turns out she was a little pukey throughout the race so she took her time, you can read about it some here.  After that we went to Silver Diner and I got a belgian waffle with eggs and bacon... yumtastic.  By the time I got home and showered (like I was the one running haha, I just rolled outta bed and into my car that morning) it was time to go to the cousins.  Ate way more than I should have there... came home... watched the Redskins scalp the Cowboys and went to bed.

Now I am trying to figure out why I can never do anything and stick to it full force.  Procrastinating already this semester, do I never learn?  Also, I'm failing at fat camp to the point where I'm starting not to care anymore.  BUT-- NSYNC's Girlfriend is playing... the version with Nelly... I'm kinda happy at the moment.  Le sigh, how I miss pop music.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

FAC and STRAPI

Since I can never remember the name of my Monday night class that I've only had once because of Labor Day being a holiday and all I shall call it my FAC class.  And the other one I remember all too well so I will call it STRAPI (strappy) because it's way too long and it's better than what i want to call it (STRAPON). 

FAC is going to be one of those fake me out easy classes.  On the surface with its 4 exams and no papers you think, hell yeah I got this.  But then you learn, and by you I mean I, the text that they graciously gave you instead of making you fork over $150 will not even be used until after October 25.  So what text do we use before then?  None.  Now, I hate reading text books as much as the next girl but I will have at least one exam if not two before this date... HOW DO I STUDY?  Wait, you're telling me I have to PAY ATTENTION in class and TAKE NOTES?!?  Huh?  That could set off my motion sickness (will explain later)!  I hope he lectures better than he did the first night, otherwise I'm in for a bumpy ride and may need to find a text book I can buy anyway to teach me all that I will miss while attempting to pay attention in class.  These classes are long.  It's impossible not to zone out at some point in the evening.  Perhaps I should invest in a tape recorder, or pay my neighbor to let me copy off him.  The first is probably more sensible, but they never make movies about someone who records his lectures and studies from them.

STRAPI came right out of the gate and bitch smacked me.  This class has no qualms about it being A LOT OF FRIGGING WORK and letting you know up front.  Every week we have two topics we must "discuss" on Blackboard.  I say "discuss" because we only have to post our responses to the questions/topics, we don't have to comment on anyone else's post.  There is also an on-going case study we will have to answer a question about and turn in once a week.  This case involves McDonald's so at least it might be interesting?  Oh there's also a chapter a week of course.  Oh and when we get into class every week we will have to write what he calls a "one minute essay" instead of a "pop quiz" because that sounds so much friendlier.  On top of all of this is a 100 point TEAM presentation that must be 50-60 minutes in length with people that I've never worked with before because he decided to try something new with our class and make up the teams based on the brain dominence instrument he administered.  Don't get me wrong, it's cool that I learned I am predominantly right-brained and even further am feelings-oriented and want everyone to get along and sing Kumbaya (really tell me something I didn't know).  But I found out that preferring to use my right brain over my left has something to do with why I get motion sickness and cannot read in the car-- my ears and eyes are hearing and seeing everything all at once and my tummy has a melt down (hence my earlier joke).  However, I had a system, mainly, I knew exactly who I wanted in my group for this damn class because I have worked well with these people before.  Funny enough, one lady is in my group that I would have chosen for my team, but no one else.  :(  Now I must hope that all of our brains combined create one huge fully functional brain so we get an A.  I already told the one lady that I'll bring the guitar next week...

Fat Camp is... going.  I need to write everything down I put into my mouth because I seem to lose more weight/do better in general when I have to do that.  I gained a pound this week, but honestly after the weekend I had I'm surprised it wasn't ten.  I also need to work out more, but having two herniated discs in my back does not help my cause.  I definitely get through every routine I do, but later/the next day I definitely pay.  I can only take so much Celebrex and extra strength Tylenol.  Anything with aspirin is out because I'm on blood thinning medication as it is, can't be bleeding out now, that would not be cute.

You should take a look at my "fake-me-out-sister" Lauren's blog because she's giving away something cool.  I use quotation marks because she shouted out to me recently in one of her posts as that.  It's totally an upgrade though from "neighbor" haha.  Love that girl!  Go read her blog! It's fun and she gives things away!  Don't stop reading mine though, I'll get jealous.  One day when I figure out how all this works, maybe I'll give something away!  Until then, stay classy.

Dun Dun DUUUUUUN!!!!

I wrote this on 8/30 and should have just posted it because I have no idea what to add. Haha.

So it's Monday... we all know what that means... school's starting again!  Tonight I kick off the fall semester with Contract Pricing, Negotiations, and Source Selections.  Thrillsville, right?  Can you believe I have chosen to study this?  The other class I have on Wednesday is Strategic Planning and Implementation (this one is a sort of distribution requirement and has little to do with the FAC track I'm on).

I guess the big question is how am I going to keep on top of the diet and the school work?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

There's No Place Like... the Beach

So I FINALLY got my reprieve from the hellacious summer.  A week in the Outer Banks with 11 of my good friends and the cutest Goddaughter anyone could ever hope for.  We laughed, we cried (from laughing), we drank... a lot.  Aside from the booze I didn't teeter too far off the fat camp trail.  I did not count points because I wasn't trying to drive myself completely nuts on the vacation I have been counting down the days to for at least 6 months.

However, yesterday at work I ate a pack of Starbursts, a bag of Cheetos, a bag of pretzels, and a Snickers bar.  Explain that to me.  All week on vacation the worst thing to cross my lips was booze and some Oreos, yesterday I go nuts.  I feel a little better having confessed that just now though.

While on vacation my friend Kelly shot me a text warning of the impending crisis that is our upcoming strategic planning class.  Now, that's just mean spirited. I was leaving the next day, that could have waited.  Immediately that pit sank itself deep into my stomach.  I finally figured out 90% of the financial aid crap, but I still have little things to do before classes start NEXT MONDAY ::cries::.

This post is weak sauce, I apologize... I'm just not feeling it today, but I didn't want to leave people hanging too long.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Week 1 Results...

Well, I just weighed in and I lost 5.4 pounds!!

On another note, if anyone knows how student loan money gets dispersed could you fill me in?  How do I get to use the money for school things that are not classes?  Do they just cut me a check?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Thin and Fit, Fast and Easy

I believe this is a title of one of the THOUSANDS of weight-loss/fitness books I was looking at when I was in Borders last week.  No wonder people are still fat and obesity is an epidemic or is it a pandemic?  Remind me to look those two words up later.  Anywho, there is nothing FAST nor EASY about losing weight (if you're moderate-morbidly obese anyway).  And I only speak on behalf of obese people because, quite frankly, I am one.  Though I still know all of our circumstances are different as well.  Some of us probably do sit on our asses all day eating bonbons and whatever else it is we can shovel into our gullet.  However, I'm guessing the majority of "obese" persons, like myself, just are.

I've been chubby my entire life despite the greater part of my young life being insanely active-- sports, band, etc.  I name band as being active because I played drums... try hauling around a snare drum from age 9-13.  So what about all the candy and cookies i ate?  Negative.  I'm the kid who ate some Halloween candy the first couple days then was done... it got thrown out 2 months later... pretty much the same with any other holiday.  Sweets weren't my thing and they still aren't though I get a craving every now and then.  My mom would pack my lunch and sometimes I would have a couple Chips Ahoy or something, but nothing crazy.  We weren't denied sweet things in my household, they weren't banned, we just didn't care.  My mom had a crazy sweet tooth, but she was 5'9" and 140lbs, so sure, go for it lol.

I've tried everything imaginable.  My two best attempts at losing weight were the times I took speed and had a personal trainer.  Ok, I didn't really take speed speed, but it kinda was only in prescription form. I've attempted South Beach (which lasted two days my freshman year of college because I ended up not eating anything and almost passed out as I burst into my friend's room one night because I knew she had food), low carb, Weight Watchers, Medifast, and various diets I made up.  I've not eaten, but not to a point where it was a problem because I do like food a little more than completely cutting it out allows lol.  The thing I have had to come to terms with is that if I want to lose weight it's not going to be fast nor is it going to be easy.  In fact, it's going to take quite a bit of time (I'm giving myself 2-3 years to get to where I want/need to be) and discipline (which I totally fail at).  This is definitely a work in progress because I still want to wake up tomorrow morning 20 pounds lighter than the night before.  It's hard for me to let go of the fact that this is going to really take as much dedication as my schoolwork (minus the whole procrastination thing).  My goal is to not look like the Goodyear blimp come my next graduation (high school and undergrad made for horrendous photos).  To help me get there I recently signed up for Weight Watchers because it's at work and the meetings take place in my building (super convenient for a lazy ass like myself).  I started last week and the first weigh-in is tomorrow.  I did not do very well as far as my points go this past weekend... mainly because I got hammered and ate almost an entire pizza to myself at the bar (not cute). 

So while I'm not in school, you will have to hear about my battle with my metabolism. 

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Summer of Hell

Originally when I started my graduate school adventure I thought I would finish up somewhere around 2012 because I don't particularly feel like I'm in too much of a rush nor did I want to taint my summers any more with papers.

Then something happened.  Something I never really thought about before I started.

I made friends.

By the time spring semester came and registration for the summer was open, I still teetered on my options.  I had become a little less "HELL NO I WON'T GO" and a little more "Ok, I could take A class..."  Well, as mentioned in my previous entry, you all know how that went.  I landed myself in two classes.  Probably the most tedious classes I've taken since I started last fall.

HR Management and Strategy:
I learned that I am HR retarded.  And I mean slooooooow.  We had to write proposals for three case studies and all three I got the same grade with the same or at least similar feedback.  Each time I thought my proposal was better than the last.  Talk about frustrating.  Oh and then everyone else in the class is sharing how they've been getting damn near perfect scores every time.  Hence, I'm HR retarded.  Oh and the final paper we had to turn in was a HOT MESS.  And yet, I received a 17.5/20 on it.  I also got an A- for the class.  I'm thrilled!  (A little upset my 4.0 is officially gone) but I really did not think my grade would be anywhere near the beginning of the alphabet... which is always frustrating especially when I really was trying and giving my best effort on those damn case studies. I guess at this point it doesn't really matter how I feel, what's done is done.  I'm just happy it's over.

Project Management:
Now this class made me angry at the beginning.  My instructor comes in and tells us only a couple people will get A's, and everyone fails his midterm.  Real positive.  As the course went on though, I began to understand where he was coming from.  Whoever failed the midterm did so because they did not study probably at all, and if they did, they didn't listen to what he said was going to be on the exam.  I studied my ass off for almost 2 weeks and still got two wrong.  One was a huge WTF was I thinking when I got my test back, the other I really was not able to decipher between two answers and I chose the wrong one... thems the breaks.  The second part of the class was primarily dedicated to a group project.  Thank God for once I had an amazing group.  To make a long story short, there were 5 modules and three out of five we received 10/10 and the first two modules we received 9/10.  Those two points plus the two I got off on the final exam equaled a 96 (I got a 20/20 on the take home final lol).  So I got an A!!!  My G.P.A. is now 3.950 or something like that.  Goodbye 4.0, but the fact that I got an A in a class where only a couple people get A's... I'm pretty proud of that.  Also, I really began to appreciate the class and instructor... until he gave us two assignments on the last day of class.  Then, I was kinda bitter and pissed off again.

But it's all over now so hoorah!

Monday, August 2, 2010

What's In A Name?

What I call my blog does not give a ton of insight to what I mostly want to discuss, rather it refers more to how I got to this point in my life.

"The B is for brave" came about during my freshmen (freshman? i never get it right) year of college. See, no one can simply call me by my first name, I guess because it's so short instead of a nickname my friends feel the need to lengthen my name either by running my firstandlastnames together or simply throwing my last initial up with my first name.
Anywho, one evening after doing something "daring" (I don't even remember what at this point) a friend of mine yelled out across campus "Cara B. The B is for brave!!" Over the next few years the B word became interchangeable (bling, bitch, bananas, etc). However, 'brave' always stuck with me because I learned something about myself, that I AM BRAVE and not just for whatever dumb ass thing I was doing that impressed my friend, but for being able to handle everything that life has thrown at me thus far. I'm sure you will learn more about these things as time rolls though, don't want to overload your plate!

Now then, what I really am going to try and focus this here blog on is Dun Dun DUUUUN: school! Last fall I enrolled in a Masters program at Catholic University in DC. I also work full time at a rather large government agency in Maryland. I only take two classes per semester as I am a part-time student and have been doing quite well up until this summer where, against my better judgment, I decided it would be a good idea to take two more classes. WhatAMistakeThatWas! My friend Kelly, whom I met through the program, talked me into it so we could "suffer together." Suffer?--Check Together?--Check Worst-experience-of-my-life-resulting-in-multiple-near-heart-attacks?--CHECK CHECK CHECKCHECKCHECKCHECKCHECK! The (not-so) funny part is that I have to do this all over again NEXT summer-- ALONE! ::cries::
Through my many crises I hope to help anyone out there who may be in a similar boat; essentially having a life and deciding to just throw school all up in the mix. I am also all about learning, myself. So if you hold the secret to not waiting til the very last minute to write a 6-8 page paper, I am all ears. If you have no secrets, but some common sense skills I am lacking, feel free to share as well.

Excited to get this started, however, summer session just ended and fall doesn't start until the end of August, but I can fill in on some of the summer's highlights.